True Colors

#NOTsoRandom Fact about Siri: when you ask “what ZERO DIVIDED BY ZERO” is she'll respond: “[i]magine that you have ZERO cookies and you split them evenly among ZERO friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”

My Fourth of July weekend was a 0 ÷ 0 kind of experience for me. Hopefully, Cookie Monster had some cookies with stars and stripes on them. Thankfully, I had some friends to fellowship with (and together we successfully cheered the U.S. National Women's soccer team to victory on Sunday :-D).  

What didn't make sense was how instead of feeling liberated, I felt bound. Pervasive social injustice tempered my celebratory spirit this past Fourth of July weekend. Ultimately, I was red, white and blue; just not in the way or for the reasons you might expect:

Part of me saw RED. A fellow Howard University alumni tweeted “Let's not let the red, white and blue make us forget the red blood of unarmed black men and women spilled at the hands of law enforcement....”  It just doesn't make sense that some individuals who have sworn to protect communities and maintain order have instead endangered communities and created disorder.

Under the immense weight and weariness of my consciousness, at times, it feels counter-intuitive to choose to fight (instead seeking refuge under a WHITE flag of surrender). Life is a challenging balance of seizing control and relinquishing it. Sometimes, the same event triggers both. For example, when I heard about the Charleston shooting, I felt out of control as my worship and cultural experience were  maliciously manipulated by a racist Confederate battle flag totting murderer. BUT, instead of allowing apathy to devolve into inaction, I turned my anger (sadness and frustration) into advocacy. 

[07.10.15 UPDATE: In response to the united efforts of many, the South Carolina legislature voted to remove the Confederate battle flag from the Capitol's grounds. Govenor Haley honored her earlier promise and signed the bill into law. Here is a link to a story and video of the Confederate battle flag's removal from the SC State Capitol: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/10/confederate-flag-removal_n_7769300.html]

My red and white thoughts left me feeling BLUE. I laid on my hammock disappointed and frustrated. I hoped to bask in warm rays of sunshine. Instead, the sun spent most of the day hidden behind dense gray clouds. 

Similarly, many individuals, organizations, agencies, and programs, hide behind their seemingly radical/reformist history/record, provocative mission/vision statements and lucrative fundraising activities. Ultimately, many of the actions of the people and entities allegedly committed to social justice work have lacked structure, cohesion, and purpose. Action is often delayed. When actions finally do occur, it often does NOT result in meaningful (positive) change. Programs have been either been poorly designed or funded (and oftentimes both). Figureheads have been silent when they should’ve spoken (and have spoken when they should've kept their mouths closed OR said something completely different). This just doesn't make sense.

*sighs*

James Baldwin spoke the truth I want to send up during the week of Tuesday, July 7, 2015:

My heart will remember what red, white and blue meant to me during the this year's Fourth of July weekend. #CallToAction Commit yourself to directly facing the social injustices you see. We have to power to change the status quo for the better (and to have our world make more sense).